it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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