It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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