A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
