i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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