he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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