I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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