nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
