i just had sex bonerless
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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