I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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