I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
