worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
