Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
