After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
