I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
