Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry austinsauce hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(415): View more from California

$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice

Fav 5 1192 3316
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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(512): View more from Texas

If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls

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(530): View more from California

I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong

(980): View more from North Carolina

And?

(704): View more from North Carolina

He melted the stem

Fav 9 1241 2239
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(205): View more from Alabama

You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.

Fav 2 544 958
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(661): View more from California

Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?

(909): View more from California

You bit me

(661): View more from California

Oh lord I need to hear this story

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