Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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