Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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