I hope mine doesn't look like that
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
