You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
