Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
please come you make the beer taste better
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
