i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
