How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
