Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
