i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
