yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
smell my finger.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
