East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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