It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
