Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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