margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
only you would photoshop your dick
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
