we're blogging at a bar
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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