Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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