I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
