I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
