I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize