my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
