So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
