Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
