jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
