On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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