You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
