He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
