Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
