The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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