its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
