Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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