Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
