I hope mine doesn't look like that
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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