is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
