just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
