I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
