how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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